October 26 at 5:51 pm #7068
I was with my girlfriend for 11 1/2 months and about 11 months in I finally told her I loved her. She got really scared and tried to break up with me when I said it saying “I am not at the point yet”. We talked about it and cried to each other and stayed together for 3 more weeks and then she broke it off saying over the last three weeks she hadn’t fallen in love. That was 3 weeks ago and I haven’t heard anything from her since. Here is a back story.
I was best friends with her sister since college and that is how we met. She is 23 and was married before we got together and treated like shit by her husband. He cheated on her with her best friend and never paid any attention to her. He even left their wedding and crashed another wedding reception and never came back to his own. They had been seperated for a month before we got together. I was also a little hesitant due to being cheated on and hurt in my past 5 relationships in the past. I didn’t treat her as I should have or the same way I treated the other girls in the past due to the fear of the pain I had felt in the past. She lives about 25 miles from he and I didn’t go to her house to see her as much as I should have for a lot of our relationship do to the fear I had. I started treating her, like I should have from the beginning, for the last few months of our relationship. The more I treated her like she deserved, the more it seemed to push her away. She had just started nursing school and an new job as a waitress at night and I work early in the morning at 3am so it made it difficult to see her during the weeks and some on the weekends due to her working a lot. The day I told her I loved her she was upset that morning because she said I didn’t go down to see her enough and she didn’t feel like I was making the effort. I promised her I would come see her more and that all the time apart has made me realize how special and important she is to me. She said good because she missed me. I then told her all the time apart from her has made me start to fall in love with her.
She then told me she wasn’t feeling that way at all yet and after almost a year she should and she doesn’t know why she doesn’t. She said how I was such a great boyfriend and a great guy and it wasn’t fair to me that she doesn’t love me. We talked and cried and she said we should end it because she doesn’t love me yet. I said people fall in love at different times and it is not uncommon for someone to feel love before someone else. She called me back an hour later and said we will make it work. Everything seemed to be going great for the last three weeks of our relationship. I sent her flowers, we hung out a lot and we seemed happy. Three days before she broke up with me on a Thursday, I sent her a text that said “I was thinking, and I really miss you right now”. She replied “Awe, I really miss you two hunny but we will see each other Saturday and were going to the Steeler game on Sunday…yay!!” That doesn’t sound like someone who was going to break up with me in 3 days. That Sunday we went to the Steeler game, she got me the tickets for my birthday. We seemed to be having a great day and after the game we came back to my house and were just laying on my bed. We hadn’t had anything physical in our relationship for like 2 weeks before the game so I asked her if she still found me attractive. She said she did but she didn’t love me like I love her and she should. She said I have been the best boyfriend anyone could have ever asked for, exp. over the last month, but she didn’t love me like I love her, she didn’t know why,and it wasn’t fair to me. We both cried and talked for an hour and I asked her right before she left what this meant for us. She said she didn’t know and she would call me when she got home but she never did.
Her sister said she is trying to stay out of it because of it being me and her sister but she told me to give it time because she feels she gave up too soon and might realize that. She said she believes her sister has put up a wall not allowing her to feel love after the way her husband treated her and she believes that is a big reason why she didn’t let herself feel that way for me, although she will never admit that.
Now I am sitting here 3 weeks later and I haven’t heard from her. I am wondering if she even thinks about me or if she misses me. People have told me that in the big picture 3 weeks isn’t a lot of time and I need to let her get her mind straight and that she will call me eventually. I just still feel so lost and do not know what to do. She is only the second girl in my life I have ever fell in love with and she is all I have thought about morning, noon, and night for the last 3 weeks. I have not been on facebook since she broke up with me and my friend said it still says I am in a relationship with her on there. My profile picture is still of us kissing. I sent her sister an email telling her how much she meant to me and how much I still care about her and miss her. I told her how I didn’t let myself into the relationship because of how I was scared and how I am so happy I let my wall down so I could see how much she meant to me and so I could be as happy as I was with her. I was hoping she would say something to her about it because I know her sister believes just as I do that nobody could love her as much or treat her as good as I can. I told her sister that I have all the hope and faith in the world for us that we will be together again hoping she would tell me whether I should or I shouldn’t, since she is her sister, she may know something I don’t, but she didn’t give me any direction either way. She told me that a few days ago, she said, “if he is so upset about everything, why hasn’t he called me yet”. I feel I shouldn’t be the one to call her. What would I say. She broke up with me and should know from my tears that night how upset I was. I don’t understand why she would say that. How would that conversation go. Would I say, “hey, how have you been since you broke my heart?”
I was told that all I can do now is let time run its course and see if she comes to her senses and realizes how great of a guy I am. I was told that I couldn’t contact her because if I do it will push her farther away from me and never give her the chance to realize that she misses me, if she ever will. I hope that’s true, but everyday that goes by without hearing from her I feel worse and worse. I have never felt so lost and I am just looking for some direction to go.
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