December 10 at 1:51 am #6483
Hello RF. Im jack, 25, and just joined after browsing for a while.
I have this problem and with nowhere to turn I thought it would be great to see if anyone else has any ideas. Never posted on a forum like this before so go easy 😀
Posted in this forum because it does indeed contain a bit about breakups.
I was with this girl for about a year it ended in August. Our relationship was starting to become very heated, we would argue all the time and to be honest I was slowly growing to dislike her. She really loved me but a bit too much perhaps and wasnt happy with me talking to other girls and got upset an awful lot,
She then found out shes pregnant and that the contraceptive pill hadnt worked :(.
I really didnt want the baby, firstly because of the way she was and how the relationship was near its last days and secondly because im too young and not ready for it. However because the woman always gets to decide she decided to keep it.
There started to be problems in the relationship that forced me into leaving. I could cope with it, knowing im going to be a dad and theres nothing I can do about it. Our arguments were still happening but instead of being able to get to the end of them and resolve them she would back out as soon as an argument started because she wasnt feeling well or was having morning sickness so it just boiled up. I couldnt handle it anymore so I walked. That was back in August.
We then had no contact for ages. Until about September, I told her on the internet that im going to try and sort myself out, better myself and try to come round to the idea of being a dad.
At the end of September I met another girl. Really get on well with her and I was going to tell the ex girlfriend.
I finally got in touch with the x last week (didnt earlier because I no longer had her number, she had blocked me on social networking sites and was barely on my pc). She told me she knows im in a relationship because this girl she knows (well I know her more than the ex) showed her my facebook profile on her phone and saw the relationship status and wall posts I made.
We spoke for a while, talked about the baby and how its not long til the birth (about a month). We then spoke on the phone about it.
Basically though she wrote some really long emails and I sent some back. The summary of things was that all this time she has dreamt I would come back to her and we could live as a happy family. She was truly devastated when she found out id found a new girlfriend and had barely stopped crying. She told me that she cant believe iv done it to her and the baby before its even born.
The final words really was that I can either get rid of my girlfriend and do whats right for the baby, or I can stay with my girlfriend but her and the baby will be closed out of my life as she cant bear to be in contact with me when I have a girlfriend before the babys born as its upsetting her too much and maybe harming the baby.
Harsh…yes. Bear in mind I dont want to upset this x, I know how much she genuinely cared about me and I know it cant be nice carrying my baby while im with another girl.
When I said its a bit unfair she said earlier she would just start the new life with just her and the baby as of tomorrow, she said I wont have to worry about the government trying to get money off me as she will put father unknown on birth certificate.
I dont want to upset the ex anymore and it seems the only options she has given me is to end it with gf and be in the babys life or stay with gf but not have anything to do with them 🙁
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