August 5 at 3:01 am #48853
I have been with my boyfriend Chris for almost 6 years, we are both 33. We are currently living together and have been for 7 months and back in 2010 we lived together for 6 months but had to move back to my parents after I lost my job due to redundancy. We have had many strains in our relationship, particularly to do with me having a few spells of unemployment but since April 2012 I now have a permanent job and am happy.
On a few occasions he has shouted at me in public following a row, one time was in his van because he wasn’t happy with a pic I posted on Facebook, it was a professional one of just my face and a satin sheet, no nudity at all. He went mental at me, screaming and shouting at me and slamming his hands on his steering wheel – I was very frightened and this was the first time he lost in and we had been together about 9 months. The 2nd time was at a friend’s weeding, I missed the wedding dance as I was in the loo and chatted to somebody. He came over to me and said I want to talk to you outside he shouted at me, called me nasty names’ and even kicked a bin. It was horrible and I was so shocked how he could behave that way at a wedding. I was embarresed by his behaviour. There was another time I bought him a ticket for the London Eye, we turned up and he went mental saying he didn’t like heights and I should’ve known. It was a surprise and was very shocked at him shouting at me in public making me cry. I feel like I can’t do anything right he puts me down but then when I question it he says I need help as I keep fucking things up.
Also, he has compared me to my twin sister, saying she is more successful and slimer than me, this has left me feeling very hurt and after 2 years I can’t seem to erase it and have recently been lashing out at him, not violently but getting very angry. This is only the start. He knows I want marriage kids but thinks I only want that because I can show off and thinks it won’t make me any happier.
He criticizes me around the flat, he moans if I haven’t emptied the bin and thinks I leave it for him, thst is not the case at all. I cook, clean, hoover and wash every day if I can, he has called me lazy which is just so not true and my confidence has been affected badly because of his behaviour.
He can be thoughful, caring but recently I had as small op, he didn’t come to get me from the hospital. He said he had a long week and didn’t realise what I was having done!! I was very hurt and felt so let down and appalled that he is supposed to be my soulmate, partner and he wouldn’t get me. It was more convenient for my sis to meet me but even so I did have a general anesetic. I have had bladder problems for 6 months and we haven’t had sex for 4 months, he has made me feel bad about it and says he might as well chop his penis off, this is insenstive knowing what I have been going through.
I can’t go on anymore and need some advice please.
I am starting to doubt myself as a person, I feel scared and alone
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