Boyfriend of 3.5 years broke my heart.

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    sammi91
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    My boyfriend and i dated for 3.5 years. We met when I was 17 and he was 18. Im 21 now and hes 22. I truly thought that our relationship was amazing and I loved him more than anything. We had so much fun together, could make each other laugh, had a lot in common, I was super close with his family, as was he with mine. We had our ups and downs as every couple does, but nothing so serious that we weren’t over it in a couple of hours. Well about a month ago, when I came home from college to visit him, he said that he hasnt been happy for a while and that he wanted to break up. I was beyond devestated and still am. I just don’t understand how he can just throw away the last 3.5 years of our life like this and just move on. He has been talking to other girls and trying to go out on dates with them. We had such a good relationship and he said that we did, he just said he dosent know why, but he just isnt happy anymore? I keep trying to think of things that happened and why he is unhappy? About a year into the relationship I moved in with him, because my parents where moving out of state and I needed to stay and finish school. I lived with him for a year, but then went away to college, where I lived most of the time except for breaks. I can see that perhaps he thinks everything moved to fast with me moving in, and he has mentioned this as being a factor, but my parents left me and I needed a place to live and his parents offered. and since i’ve been at college he has been able to get his space back and do his own things, so i dont know why/if this is still plaguing him. Also, he has only had two girlfriends. One for a year and then me for 3.5 years. He lost his virginity to me. Does he want to explore and see what else is out there and experience life. From a guys pov is it scary to have only really been with one woman? There was really only one road that our relationship was heading too(marriage)and i dont know if that frightened him away since he hasnt really been with many other girls? I just wish i knew what he was thinking. Since we broke up he has been talking to some other girls and i feel like he is changing for them. One girl said she liked his beard and so instead of shaving like he usually does hes letting it grow out. He has never really liked drinking, but a girl told him that her favorite drink was captain and **** and so now he has been drinking that almost everynight( even though he has openly said multiple times to me, friends, family that he dosent like to drink or the taste of alcohol) What is he going through right now? and I started no contact yesterday, but up until that point i have continuously tried to contact him and talk to him. I feel like i am pushing him away but i want answers and i just understand why any of this is happening or how after 3.5 years he can just move on, and seemingly not care anymore? I tried talking to him the other day and he said he dosent want to dislike me any more than he already does? and to just give it a break. He met a girl on okcupid(an online dating site)and he said that he likes her and that he is going out on a date with her. On his okcupid profile he said that he is looking for a long term relationship, and to settle down? He just ended a long relationship and is looking to jump into another one. I know i should have started no contact a long time ago and that i shouldnt still be contacting him a month later. But i didnt want to give up and just let go of a relationship that meant so much to me. I really cared alot about him and us. He wont event take the time to talk to me or hear me out about anything. He told me that we had a good relationship, but that he just wasnt happy anymore, how does that happen! How can he be ready to be in another long term relationship and why does he completely want me out of his life=( I just cant stand the thought of him with someone else! I dont want to feel this pain anymore and i just want to be able to let go and move on. Please, I desperately need advice =(

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