cant forgive him. yet cant break it off with him

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    breezy
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    I’ve been w/my boyfriend for 3 years. 2 of those years were long distance. When we finally decided to move in together. we brought in that “stil in a long dist” mentality. We both have our faults..I’ve broken up w/him a few times for being scared. His is a longer list…I should say when he’s w/us (4 yr old son who my bf has been w/us since he was one) he’s great! But when he’s not…he’s gotten himself in some trouble. Not with drugs/alc, law, or physical cheating. But I’ve found some things out that make me cringe. One being he rekindled his friendship w/his ex wife 6 mo into our relationship and never told me. I found out a month ago. I would never have been mad that they were friends…but was finding clues he was talkin to her and hiding it. What conclusions would a gal come to right? Another biggie is he met up with an ex who cheated on him years ago after I asked him not to. At first I was ok w/it but than I read her messages (he let me) and she told him to say they we just old friends. That they should meet alone. Hmm…I didn’t like that. Among MANY other things. We’ve tried working on our relationship. Saw a couples therapist, which didn’t help. It wasn’t us…her technique was wrong. Than we tried on our own. Now I feel like its just me trying. I ask him from time to time to talk,but it goes no where. Last night we had a HUGE fight. I should say he did. He was yelling at me, showing a rather ugly side I’ve never seen before. He’s never physically hurt me or our son. And he never will. Its just left a rather nasty taste in my mouth. I’m so unhappy. But can’t find the strength in me to end it. Because I know when I do…this time is the last time. Has anyone had this problem and overcame it and how. I’m usually such a strong person and can find my own answers. But I’ve lost that person, I once was.

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