Confused! Forums Break Up Confused!

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  lovemetender 6 years ago.

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    Hi all,
    New to the forum so this is probably in the wrong place! Sorry if it is! Pretty long post so get comfy! Basically my girlfriend (of a long time) broke up with me by text early one morning out of the blue. I admit that I wasn’t showing her as much attention as I should have, but I didn’t think it would lead to this. Anyway I called her bluff when she left, turned out she was serious, I rang her and her new man (twice her age) picked up. She had him lined up before leaving me. I tried to fight for her back but it didn’t work, I spent a month fighting for her, and she would say yeah I do want you back etc etc, but she would still go out with her new man (she just calls him a friend, and says that’s all she wants to be with him). By the way this is all quite recent, in the last month. Anyway I cant do anything now, and wouldn’t want to, her loss.

    My dilemma is this, I have the photo album. And I have hundreds of undeveloped pictures. She had it up until may but I took it back to put some more pictures in it, and didn’t get round to it. I would write a little comment next to each one, (which she said she loved) cheesy! But I want to get the pictures developed and give the album to her. Fewquestions:

    1) Do I give it to her?
    2) Do I write little comments?
    3) Do I leave a parting comment or note?
    4) Do I say something like, I’ve been asked to give this to you, so if it backfires I get off lightly?
    5) Whats the Pros and Cons?
    6) Its only been a week since we last spoke, should I leave it a little longer or do it now?

    If I text or ring asking to meet her, Im almost sure she will tell me where to go. I have moved on, and I’m over it. But I just feel I have to do it, I mean when we spoke after we broke up, I asked her if she would want it back if we didn’t work it out, she said yeah, but when we fought last week she said I don’t want anything more to do with you. Confuuuuuused!

    I know that i should just chuck it, and everyones told me to get rid of it but I just have this niggling feeling not to. She had a box of memories of past boyfriends when we first started going out, I wasn’t bothered but she chucked them out when we got serious. Knowing her (or not as the case may be) I think she will keep them. I don’t know what i aim to achieve or gain from this, but somethings telling me to do it.

    Little bit of info you should probably know, we both late teens, and at the very end we both (especially me) said some really horrible stuff, I don’t mean like I hate you, I mean like very hurtful stuff. But that was a week ago and we haven’t spoke since, so I think we’ve both calmed down. She told me she had started to hate me at the end of the relationship, and she felt the ‘spark had gone’ ten month ago and she never told me cause she didn’t want to hurt me. I won’t say how long we dated, but it was less than three year, not much less though.

    The main thing that’s putting me off is that she’s in this self destruct mode. She broke up with a boyfriend before meand she went way off the rails, drink, drugs etc. I have a feeling she’s back in that mode now where she puts a screen up and just runs away from everything.

    Thank you for reading and all comments (constructive ones) are greatly appreciated. Just wondering what’s the best thing to do!


    Dee Secrets

    Don’t give it to her. Wait. Put it together but don’t give it to her at this time.




    Okie so heres the deal. Ive been seeing this guy for 4 months. We met on a dating website (plenty of fish) met 2 times and been together ever since. When i met him his xgf was still living with him. She was moving out in a month, and that was fine with me. (no harm right?….so i thought). I have witnessed a few of there fights about her moving out and him not having money to pay for bills. (it wasnt pretty). So finally she moved out, and he was very bummed out that she moved out. (he still had feelings for her, witch i understood, since i just broke up with my xbf of 10 yrs. I supported him and told him he needs to start over and forget about her. He had a very hard time doing that, then seemed to be fine after while. A few months later, hes best friend moves in, and everything was going great. I for sure thought he was over his xgf for good, since he was talking about her bad with his bestfriend……..Then yesterday (tuesday) boyfriend went hunting and his best friend was at work. I was home alone. i have decided to check his gmail and see if him and his xgf have been talking. (i just had to know). I found an email conversation they had november.7th.2011 that he is planning on breaking up with me, because he just doesnt feel it, and that im lazy and sleep all the time. Well he got 2 things wrong, im NOT lazy and i dont sleep all the time. I cook,clean,do his laundry, fold and put away his laundry while he sits on his ass on the computer for hafe the nite, probably talking to her. So, when i read that i was very upset started crying and screaming (of course no one was home). I started to pack up a few of my things that i bring over for the weekend. ( im not living with him, and im glade i didnt). about 2 hours later i calmed myself down and boyfriend came home, and i didnt tell him what i read but i was in a bad mood. His best friend comes home and notices that somethings wrong and he asks me and i just say im in a bad mood. (i didnt want to tell him the real reason.) So, i dont know what to do, i dont know how to tell him. IM not going to tell him i looked at his email. I just want to say it in a way that he will never find out i checked my email…(yes confusing i know.) I dont understand why he wants her back, She treated him like crap the hole relationship (3 yrs). And here i am treating him like a prince, helping him pay for gas and food, spending my money on him. And this is what i get. I dont understand. Can someone please give me some advice, i would really like to know what you think. I havent told anyone this yet, once my mom knows shes going to freak out.

    Thanks Michelle



    Would you still care for some advice?

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