Do cheats ever change?

RelationshipForums.com Forums Couples Do cheats ever change?

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  ra1217 5 years, 9 months ago.

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  • #6582

    shevenly90
    Participant

    apologies for the life story, desperately needing ANY advice.

    I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year, we met the year before that on a random night out and have no mutual friends as we are both from different towns so i only know his history from what he and his 1 friend that im allowed to meet tell me.
    Not long after we met i fell pregnant, wasn’t planned but hey it happened, and we moved in together, we live in a beautiful house with our gorgeous son and when we first met it was all roses.

    My boyfriend has always had an eye for the ladies, always with the joey from FRIENDS ‘how you doing?’ kinda remarks at most attractive girls (not that he would ever have the guts to say it to their face) i always accepted that if he is saying it infront of me then hes not hiding it and its harmless.

    The past week i suspected something wasnt right and i looked at his texts (something ive never done before) and found a very old text from his ex apologising for hurting her and denying i was ever pregnant also clear proof that he was with her when we started seeing each other and felt he had to end it with her when i fell pregnant.

    I also found texts from his best mate regarding my boyfriend “stalking” some girl from McDonalds, and how he had found her name, i then checked his business facebook page and right enough he had recently added her followed by a private mail asking her out on a date to which she replied no she was seeing somebody ( my silly boyfriend thinks archiving messages is deleting them) i chucked him out followed by him sleeping in the car with his bags and me feeling sorry for him letting him back in and letting him apologise, we are now back together but im finding it impossible to trust him, hes since starting texting some girl ive never heard of before and my mind is racing also late night random phonecalls from another girl, i just cant help feeling paranoid. he tells me their mates and ive to ‘get over it’ 🙁

    any tips on ‘getting over it’ ? or is my boyfriend a classic case of once a cheat always a cheat? i really dont want to split up, i love him with all my heart and i love our little family, dying to make it work but not prepared to be a doormat.

    #48544

    pixiep
    Participant

    There are only two options for you.
    1. Be Blind.
    2. LEAVE HIM.
    I would suggest you the latter, since you say u love him , like really emotional, ..this ‘habit’ of his will hurt you a lot. Also since you do really love him , dont u think your love should be appreciated the right way .?
    if u decide the first however, well you have to be really strong to look away when you get to know of his ‘works’ and maybe stop snooping. U dont really want to know .
    Hope u and your little boy be happy .:)

    #48545

    Stungonce
    Participant

    I learned something once about certain people.
    Some people need to constantly feel they are attractive to others. some grow out of it some dont.
    I cant comment on your situation, but I will say Dont rely on him. Become the best Mother you can be and focus on yourself being independant so you dont need him.
    Ask yourself is this what you want to worry about the rest of your life? Can you work through it?
    Perhaps try counselling, maybe he needs to talk to someone?

    #48546

    ra1217
    Participant

    Sounds like you both need couseling Dr. Phil style. What he thinks is innocent could ruin the whole family.

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