March 20 at 4:21 am #49120
Hey everyone, I was looking for some advice on my situation and could really use the help since I’m lost. I apologize for being lengthy. So I met this girl online back in November and it turns out we actually work at the same company together; just in different buildings. We went out on a few first dates and they all went great. She is a very independent and career oriented person. I think she involves herself in work a lot to cope with her life challenges. We ran into a rough patch at one point briefly where we misunderstood each other, but made up and continued to see each other.
She informed me when we met that her mother had passed away and year ago and her father is currently going through a battle with cancer. As we continued to see each other, her father started to get worse and had to make trips to Jersey to see him. She often cancelled or had to reschedule plans at last minute. I’ve been doing my best to be patient and understanding of this. Communication between us started to lessen and I would maybe get just a text or two days at a time. She would call me from time to time to talk and give me updates about her dad.
When I finally got to see her again, she came to my house for dinner and was upset because she was coming to terms that her dad is dying. She got a call from her dad’s doctors while we were eating. His health was way worse and had to go on hospice and didn’t have much time left. He passed away 4 days later. I did everything I could to be there for her. Took off work to be there at the funeral and delivered a stuffed animal and card to her office that she would get when she returned from work leave. I checked in on her a few times to see how she was, but also gave her space to try to cope with things.
She has been back at work for a week now and thanked me for the card/animal. I offered to help her pack since she is moving into a new house very soon. We had made those plans for Thursday, but she cancelled since he has to get caught up with things. She took all 3 of her father’s dogs home with her and now has 4 dogs to care of. We agreed to see each other briefly on Friday to get a drink after work. She text me that morning saying she was excited to see me. After work when I saw her, she looked emotionally exhausted and tired. It was as if we were 2 old friends getting together. I text her later if she was doing alright and she said “I’m ok, I’m just tired and a new level of stressed. I want to cope with what happened, but can’t because of the legal stuff that needs to taken care of”. I told her that I understand and will be here for her in any way. I found out that she must have invited someone else over on the weekend to help her pack??
I beginning to understand that there is nothing I did wrong, its’ just the timing for any emotional bonding for me is not in her emotional mindset. I have been patient and selfless with this process for a while. I’m willing to give her a little time to see how things go, but I can’t put my life on hold for too long while she tries to cope with things. I don’t hear anything from her anymore; she never initiates convo with me. I’m just giving her more space now and backing off completely. I will wait for her to contact me. I just wanted to see what others think and if you can shed any light if you went through something similar.
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