Guy I’m dating lost his dad

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Rich 5 years, 6 months ago.

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  • #7005

    chocaholic1001
    Participant

    I met a guy two months ago on a night out. We get on really well, he’s so nice, down to earth, funny and great company, always have great fun together anytime we meet up. I really like him. We live almost two hours away from each other and with work we just got to meet up at weekends so in the last two months of knowing each other we’ve gone on three dates but we text each other every day and its all been going great. I haven’t met his family and I only met his friends the first night we actually met.

    Last week, his dad died suddenly. I didn’t find out about his father’s death until the night his dad was buried when he text me to let me know. I text him first and he replied so I rang him but he didn’t answer, I text him later that night to say I am here for him, I’m thinking of him and if there is anything I can do for him or if he wants to talk I’m here for him to which he replied.

    I left him a few days and still no word back from him so three days after the funeral, I text him again just to say I’m thinking of him etc (like earlier messages). So he replied for a bit and in one message he said he might see me soon, I said if or whenever he’s up to it, then we’ll of course meet up. He never replied to this message so the day after I decided to send him a message suggesting if he wanted to meet up this week.

    I really like this guy. While it was only two months that we knew each other and have only dated a few times within this time, there is definitely a strong connection between us. My heart broke for him when I found out about his dad and I just wanted to be there for him to help him through this time. I hope I’m not sounding selfish in the above description of what is going on. I totally understand that he may just want space and may not want to talk or maybe just does not want the hassle of a girl, I’ve just felt really sad since we haven’t been in contact recently and that I’ve lost him but most of all that I haven’t been able to help him out especially at this hard time.

    I just don’t know what to do. Its now a week since his father was buried. He’s not replying to my messages. Do I ring him to check in on him? Or will I just leave him to grieve? Do I ring or text him again to suggest me going over to him to meet up with him? I’m in bits at the minute. I don’t want to seem like a stalker especially if he’s not replying to my messages but at the same time I don’t want to lose him and not be there for him.

    #48720

    Rich
    Participant

    Leave him be. He knows you’re there and if and when he’s ready to begin being with you, he’ll reach out. Get the hint, he needs space right now.

    Is his mom still alive? If so then he has to take care of her and make sure that she’s ok.

    If not, then there’s all of his father’s business to take care of. Life insurance, selling the house, moving the belongings and all the other stuff that needs to take place.

    Give him space to do what he needs to do. Also, by doing all of this stuff along with the funeral arrangements, he probably hasn’t really had the time to grieve properly yet.

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