June 17 at 6:24 pm #7034
Me and my boyfriend, Kevin, have been dating for a year and 4 months.
In this time we have opened a store together and bought a house.
We also run his original business, a painting business, together.
This means we spend every waking moment of every day … together. There is no time apart whatsoever. We also raise my two kids (3 & 7) from a previous relationship, together. Lately, they have been acting up very badly. They don’t listen, don’t do anything you ask, and just plain drive us crazy. It’s been a huge strain on top of our financial ruin.
We live in a tourist community and winter was completely dead. Both businesses have struggled. We are 3 months behind on everything, phone bills, electricity, house payment and store rent. Kevin’s paint bond and insurance has lapsed.
We have a lot on our plates already and we both have a few trust issues. Both of us have came out of bad relationships that we were cheated on.
When we began this relationship Kevin informed me that his best friend is a girl named Rena (pronounced Renee) and that I would just have to deal with it. Well this girl, who lives in NY and also has a boyfriend, consumed Kevin’s entire life. They would talk on the phone for hours and after overhearing a few conversations I realized there was more to this relationship than he let on.
When I asked if he could cut back on the phone calls, he obliged but rather than talk on the phone he resorted to Facebook messaging with her for hours. He left his Facebook open one day and I snooped. Most of the messages had hidden meanings to them but the one that stood out the most was her ing about me wanting them to not talk as much and how I was trying to “steal him from her” and he responded with “She’s just jealous of you because you’re so hot girl”
After this I tried for about 9 months to get them to stop talking to each other to no avail. He lied all the time and said they weren’t talking but anytime I had his phone she would call and I’d look through the history and see phone calls between the two spanning throughout the day, everyday. I finally was able to stop it after Kevin had left his Facebook open, again, and I was sitting on the couch by the computer when a message popped up from her saying “When you lose the let me know so we can !”
Now this was a severely inappropriate relationship that spanned over a year between the two while me and Kevin were together.
Kevin has been ragging on me lately about a male friend I’ve had for years named Jason. I have been completely honest with Kevin about this friendship and that we DID in fact have once. I explained to him that it was a drunken night, I was feeling pretty bad about myself, Jason had made me feel good and I had basically thrown myself at him that night and that was all it was. Me and Jason really haven’t talked about it other than it was a mistake on both parts and we remained friends regardless.
Kevin now thinks its inappropriate to be friends with him still and it makes him uncomfortable. Which I respect but can’t feel too bad about it considering what he put me through for a year with Rena, that I should be allowed to have a male friend. I haven’t given Kevin a reason to believe anything is going on with Jason, we don’t talk for hours on the phone, I don’t sneak around Kevin’s back to talk to Jason. Basically it’s a “bump into each other and chit-chat for a while” kind of friendship.
I don’t have many friends anymore because my life is consumed with work, kids, and Kevin. Any friend that I did have that lasted through everything, Kevin made sure to pick fights between us so that they weren’t my friend anymore. I feel really ostracized from everyone and Jason is pretty much the last person that is even on speaking terms with me because he has a “don’t give a crap” attitude and isn’t a high maintenance friend.
In the last few days Kevin has been really mean to me, telling me that I’m the reason we’re failing and that I’m not doing anything to make it better. Yet I’m the only one working and I have the kids all day in the store. I come home and clean and continue taking care of the kids and Kevin cooks. He claims all of the credit yet he always has an excuse as to why he can’t work and that he can’t work without me. I can’t paint with him, run the store alone, and care for the kids all at one time. I feel extremely deflated and buried – I have no one to confide in other than Kevin. My family won’t speak to me either.
Today, he brought up Jason again today because Jason had stopped by the store and saw how exhausted and frustrated I am so he took my youngest on a walk and over to a pirate story book reading a block up from the store just to ease my burden for a while. Meanwhile, Kevin was at home all day with my oldest when he was supposed to be at work painting. He claims that I should have came home early to go with him to paint and that’s why he didn’t go to work. When I told him that Jason took Kylie on a walk he flipped out saying we’re just going to close the store because I can’t be trusted there by myself.
I’m at the end of my rope and don’t know if this relationship is worth saving anymore? I don’t have any outside help and there are no funds for me to move with as we’re behind on every bill. I don’t have my own vehicle now because I sold my car to make a house payment. Does anyone know what I can do?
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