January 30 at 8:25 pm #7083
Up until recently I was seeing this lovely guy I work with. We started out as friends, he helped me move house and we started texting. Time went on and he made it very clear that he liked me and the more we texted and hung out I began to like him too.
It was so lovely as we were taking things really slowly, just chilling out or going to the beach or for a drive. We knew we both liked each other and would text all the time and he was very sweet and affectionate. Things progressed and we kissed for the first time just before christmas and things were amazing.
After christmas we went to our work party together and had a good time and we slept together that night. I hadn’t planned on this happening just yet and it made me crazy. After that moment I became very needy and paranoid. Thinking he was going off me when he hadn’t given me any real reason to feel like that. At first he reassured me and said he wouldn’t go off me and that what we were doing was good and it’s nice to take things slow.
This made me feel better for a while but to cut a very long story short, my neediness and incessant text messages has destroyed a good thing with this man. He began to ignore my crazy texts (can you blame him!?) Which in turn made me worse. I couldn’t leave it alone.
Whenever I’d see him at work he would speak to me and act normally with me but I couldn’t shake how bad i felt for coming on too strong and ruining things so soon as we were having such a lovely time going with the flow and spending time together. We hadn’t even got to that stage of discussing where it was going or whatever.
Anyway I continued to torture myself over this and question him with “why” and “what’s changed” etc. He told me he had “a lot on at the moment” and needed time to himself. I found out since then thay he’s got issues with his daughter as well which I understand is hundred percent more important. He’s not said he’s not interested in me at all or that things wouldn’t change in the future when his life is sorted.
I’m confused about this because I still care about him so so much and I want to have hope that if I give him the time and space he needs, that I can somehow salvage this?? I’ve just had an operation and he gave me a good luck card on my last day of work and has text me after to see how I am and when I’m back at work etc.
I just don’t know what to do. He’s said I haven’t done anything wrong it’s just that things have happened in his life that he can’t get people involved in. I know most of your advice to me will probably be “give up and move on” but I don’t want to. We’re perfect for each other and i haven’t felt like this in such a long time. I hope someone has some advice for me on how to get things back on track and win him back as I hope it’s not too late!!April 23 at 10:44 am #48750
It might be because you scared him with your neediness. He might be going through a lot and you’re adding to that lot. Just let him be for now. Let him fix his issues. Just be the open ear that would listen to him.
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