How to handle this aggression? Forums Couples How to handle this aggression?

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    Not really sure how to start this off. I’ve posted on and off about this subject so the story is particularly long on how everything got started, but I guess I could start off with the main topic.

    Me and my boyfriend’s best girl friend absolutely don’t like each other.

    This little fued between us was never this big until just three months ago. Me and my boyfriend had broken for a week out of a whole year of being together. (We were pretty close and had actually known each other for a lot longer, just never really became friends until we started talking.) During this week his best friend (Let’s call her Hayley), had decided that after just a couple of days, that it would be ok to confess to my boyfriend how much she really liked him for the whole year we had been dating.

    Now, before we had broken up for that week, me and my boyfriend had issues over their friendship. In the beginning I never minded it. I wanted to become her friend too, but she started coming over to his family’s house so often over the year and grew close to them. They invited her to camping trips, spending the nights over, and even to family reunions. Even if I wasn’t there. Not to mention her and my boyfriend were actually pretty close as friends. Needless to say I got jealous. Over the edge really. I had enough, but I couldn’t just tell my boyfriend to stop being friends with her. That wasn’t right. I never liked situations like that, but at the same time I just kept realizing how much I just didn’t like her. Her overall personality. We’re complete opposites, so I always felt out of the picture whenever she would hang out with us. So yeah, we would argue about her quite often. Wasn’t the whole reason we had broken up though.

    Anyway, my boyfriend and I did make up and decided to work things out. Yet the night we did, his best friend had gotten mad at both of us for getting back together and chewed my boyfriend out for leading her on, when really SHE was the one who had asked for it. Her and my boyfriend are back to being buddies now, however, it is now very clear how we feel on both ends and everyone knows. Neither of us can be in the same room anymore since then. My boyfriend and his family try hard to keep us apart now.

    Now all she does is ask my boyfriend, anytime she gives him a present or hangs out with him for a day, “So, did your girlfriend at you for hanging out with me?”

    ……Sorry, but nothing pisses me off more. I only ever get mad at her, not him. She really does hide whenever she sees me. (Been in awkward situations that had involved her hiding in the garage at his parents house cause they invited her over to hang out at the same time my boyfriend invited me over .___.) I never take it out on him. She talks trash about me, saying how all I ever do is pout and that I really don’t deserve my boyfriend. I do too, but only when my boyfriend tells me what she says. That I always made him miserable when I did. My boyfriend does defend me (I trust him) and actually complains more about her than anything, but has told me that the reason she says all she does and the reason why she hates me to begin with is because she’s afraid i’m going to ruin their friendship.

    I never wanted to. I never tried to, but after a whole year of feeling like his family didn’t want me dating their son. After a whole year of feeling like I should be just like her, and taking her “friendly” insults, I had enough. Not to mention she had also tried getting “dirt” on me from an old ex of mine a long time ago, just to see what I was really like. That hurt me a lot. It was none of her buisness and I never got much of an apology. What else am I suppose to do? I love my boyfriend. His happiness is my everything. I’ve never been close to anyone like this before. I never tried to, and i’m not going to now. I’m letting them stay friends now, despite all this horrible drama.

    Overall, i’m tired of hearing about how much I at my boyfriend. I’m tired of still feeling jealous whenever they hang out without me there. I don’t think i’ve ever wanted to punch someone more than I do now. I’m not sure how to deal with this. I want to confront her, but I know I won’t get anything out of her. The only thing it will lead to is an actual fight.

    Any advice? It would be greatly appreciated~

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