I still can’t get over it

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  pixiep 5 years, 9 months ago.

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  • #6871

    philips71
    Participant

    It has been nearly 2 years since the following happened and I find myself still troubled over what occurred. I have tried, in the distant past, to talk to my wife about this but she refuses to talk about it under the threat of divorce. Seeing nowhere else to turn, I am going to turn to you all for your advise. I hope you can bear with me as it is a rather lengthy tale.

    My wife works at an office with all women and they were planning a 4 day trip to Jamaica at the end of the year to celebrate 20 years in business. Initially, I thought this was a wonderful idea and was very supportive for several reasons. One, I reasoned that given some time away from the family would be good for our relationship. If she received a little “me” time perhaps she would be more attentive to “us” time when she returned. Two, it seemed a good way to build relationships within the office.

    Initially I was told that only office staff was going (which meant only women). About 5 weeks before the vacation was scheduled, I was informed that spouses and boyfriends were invited provided they pay their own way. Now, we certainly did not have the money for me to attend nor did I have time to procure a passport so the offer for me to attend was a hollow one at best (as an aside, I asked my wife later if she ever considered not attending because I could not and she conceded that she had not). This proved to be only the beginning of the problems.

    As it was the end of the year, my wife began to go to the tanning salon. This seemed reasonable to me until I discovered that she had been tanning . When questioned, she stated that she was doing it for me. Now, please understand, I have no problem with her tanning and, at least initially, I bought the whole “it’s for me” explanation. How many times, since returning from her vacation nearly two years ago, do you think my wife has returned to the tanning salon? Zero. In retrospect, wouldn’t tanning in a suit have accomplished the same goal?

    So, my impeccably tan wife left for her vacation that I was clearly not invited to (grant that this is my perception as I have no way of knowing what her true intentions were). Upon returning home, she was highly defensive. She was angry with my reception as I did not lavish her with attention. Truthfully, I had been ill and had not slept well. Coupled with the fact that I had charge of five children on my own, I was exhausted. Her defensiveness really set me off and I stormed from the house. Where was the appreciation I deserved? I would have thought that she would have been much more attentive to how I was feeling given that she just spent 4 days in the Caribbean.

    Now, here is the kicker. She was not intimate with me for three weeks following the vacation and, when she was, she offered to do something that she has never done in the past. Red flags abound.

    One more thing I should mention, the dress. My wife came home with see-through dress that she apparently wore. She said she borrowed it from a friend as she did not pack enough clothes. The dress hung in our laundry room for weeks before I asked her if she planned to return it. At that time, the story changed. She said the dress did not fit her friend and she did not want it back. My wife never wore the dress again and it has since disappeared from our closet.

    So, I feel betrayed and am relatively certain that I am not being told the whole truth of things. Am I simply overreacting and reading too much into the situation.

    Cheers all and thanks for your time.

    #48657

    pixiep
    Participant

    Oh..well i think she might have brought the dress for herself ..and it must be costly. She might not have wanted to tell you about it coz ..well ask her why .
    Also we women liek to prepare when we go for a trip especially to the beaches or well anywhere..to look our best. Its called Vanity 🙂 thats why she must have decided to tan and all .
    As for the intimacy part ..well she must have been in her holiday aftermath..and then realised that since she had enjoyed so much , she should give you some enjoyment too and so did the “new ” thing.
    I know i might sound too optimistic, but i feel thats why she must have tanned n dint tell u about the dress.. as for the intimacy parts, better ask her.
    Take Care.

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