I’m Married and I feel trapped

RelationshipForums.com Forums Marriage I’m Married and I feel trapped

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 5 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #6818

    AshtonG
    Participant

    I am 31 years old and have been with my wife for 11 years. It the usual story things seem to start off well but for the last 6-7 years and especially since we have had kids, 4 years ago, I feel that I am just an aid in her life. Everything seems to follow her rules, money is looked after by her, important issues with the kids seem to based on her morals and I am not trusted to do anything right. I have no idea where this attitude has come from, I am constantly reminded of the ‘right’ way to do things, what I can and can’t say to the kids and that all our spare money goes towards the mortgage, a small mortgage by todays standards but my wife hates things hanging over her. The more I think about it I have bearly been let out of her sight over the course of our relationship which gives me a sense of mistrust, one that I certainly have done nothing to earn. I used to have an odd drink with my dad every couple of months for maybe less than 2 hours which has stopped because my wife no longer goes out very often, most likely due to the kids and she feels that if she is not spending any money doing anything that I shouldn’t.

    I have tried to talk to her on these matters but I tend to get talked to like I am just being silly. I do love my wife but I no longer see this as my future and I know how bad that sounds with kids involved but I just don’t feel like I am living my life anymore. I love my kids and will do anything for them but I don’t want them to get the impression that when you get married it’s Life Over!!!

    #48630

    Joyce203
    Participant

    I really feel your situation. As far as I can remember it’s his way or the highway. Looks like I’m headed for a long ride because it’s insane. Marriage, especially when kids are involved need (have) to go 50/50. Not to disregard your good intentions.
    I’d have a good sit down with her and let her know how you feel and ask her point blank…. “Are you happy being married?” “Do I make you happy?”

    She could be happy or….. She may have wasted several of your years. Life is too short to sit around wondering if you’re where you’re suppose to be in life.

    I could just be running my mouth because I too feel I’ve ended up with the shorter end of the string, but so be it.

    I hope everything works out for you!!!
    Be happy, life is too short!!!!

    #48631

    sassylady
    Participant

    Wow I’ve got the same thing going on. I’m not able to do anything because I don’t do it right, but nothing gets done lol. Only thing is I am supposed to pay the bills although he doesn’t bring a steady income in at all.

    I am trying to find a way out of this situation, I need to find some happiness in life and so do you. You can only discuss it so much, do so much talking to a blank wall. Eventually we all have to either give in or give up. Good luck, I really do understand!

    #48632

    Anonymous

    I agree with Joyce203 on these. You need to personally ask her out what she wants in life. You must tell her that you can’t live like these anymore and things need to be changed.

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