August 1 at 11:29 am #48998
This is my first ever post on here so I’ll give a little background. My husband and I started dating 6 1/2 years ago and we were off and on for the first 2 years of our relationship. During one of our breakups, I got pregnant. I have only ever been with my husband so there was no doubt the kid was his. We got back together and got married when our son was 8 months old. We have had some issues over the past few years since we got married but managed to work through them and have had a second child since then. One of the issues we have had through our relationship is that my husband will start watching porn and completely ignoring me. Before, he would stay up until I gave up on him and would go to bed and then he would watch porn before joining me. It lasted a few months and then he would finally start paying attention to me again but I almost cheated on him once years ago because I was feeling so ignored and alone. Well, a few months ago I started working again after being a SAHM for a year and I only work nights so we don’t have to have a babysitter. He works days Monday-Friday and I work 5 nights a week with m nights off being different from week to week. I can understand him watching porn when I’m not really around but even on my nights off he ignores me. He even has a porn app on his phone! I have tried talking to him about being unhappy but he just shrugs it off and keeps doing what bothers me. I’m so unhappy that I feel like crying most days and cry myself to sleep most nights. There is a guy I work with that is always joking around with me and he knows a lot of what I’m dealing with because I broke down in front of him one night when we closed together. He is happily engaged so nothing will happen between us no matter what but I look forward to seeing him more than my husband and we have a bond that is hard to ignore. He is a great friend and I don’t think of him as a possible sex partner at all but I love being around him more than anyone else. I don’t have any friends other than him and we don’t talk outside of work ever except on the occasion we both stand out back after close and talk but other than the one time we haven’t talked about my marital problems. I just don’t know what to do. I want to make things great between my husband and myself again but if I look forward to seeing a friend more than my husband, how can I manage that? He doesn’t seem interested in making things better and does stuff that I specifically ask him not to. He doesn’t believe in therapy and doesn’t listen when I try talking to him. I am about to call it quits and see if my friend from work would be willing to help me find a cheap place. He is in the process of becoming a preacher so he has connections through the church and could probably find more than I could by myself. I just don’t know what to do because of the kids. It makes it so much harder to call it quits when we have two kids together.October 29 at 7:55 am #49050
It’s been a while since you posted this, but in my opinion, it’s hard to make a marriage work when they’re both trying to work things out. Your husband seems unwilling to do what he needs to do to make things work. It takes two to tango and if he is unwilling to take his marriage to you seriously, then it’s not going to work regardless of what you do. There are men who don’t care for porn simply because it’s made in such poor taste. I’m not a prude, but porn movies seem way too trashy to me. There are other men who have this view, Go find one if your husband persists on not working with you to make things better. A bad marriage is hard on the kids also.
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