December 10 at 2:46 pm #6598
First off my boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 years. After 5 years we had a daughter (unplanned). When we first started dating he said he wanted to wait about 5 years before getting married, then have kids. Which I didn’t mind at all. Now here it is 9 years later, we are still together but not even engaged. I have brought it up to him in the past 2 years that it’d be nice if we were at least engaged. He gives me what seems like are excuses: 1. Doesn’t know what kind of ring I’d like, told him I liked the ones that the stone sits in the ring not above it so it wouldn’t get caught on stuff doens’t have to be big or expensive. 2. I haven’t gotten my bankruptcy finalized from after losing a job a couple years ago, told him bankruptcy isn’t affected by being ENGAGED. 3. He doesn’t want to do it on a holiday, told him there are plenty of other days in a year. 4. When we get into any type of arguement he tells me it’s the reason he has never proposed. This is just low and dirty fighting in my view.
Anyway on top of all of that he’s now brought up wanting another kid which I told him I wanted a long time ago but wanted to wait till we were married. It took 14 years before I EVER got pregnant so I have already told him how hard it would be to have another kid, and the older I got the harder it would be. But at the same time he’s still giving me these excuses.
Is it really too much to want to be engaged? After 9 years it seems like I’m stuck in the same place as when we started only difference is we now have a daughter. I want things to move one way or the other already, he either wants to get married and should do something about it, or he’s been leading me on and it’s time to pack up and get out while my daughter is younger, and hoepfully make any seperation easier on her to get used to.
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