July 20 at 1:38 am #7044
I’m confused and scared and sad and I apologize if this is long, ranty and it doesn’t make any sense.
I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. We have been living together for 6. He is the greatest guy ever and I couldn’t ask for more and I couldn’t imagine finding somebody else I’m this compatable with. He deals with my crazy side and my depressed side. He has never been jealous or cares when I have my girls nights out. He knows how to make me happy, gets along with my parents and takes care of me in all the important ways. I was unemployed, going to school and couldn’t afford anything – he helped me out. My car broke down – he came all the way out to help me. He really takes care of me in the ways I need it.
I can’t say enough good things, but then there is the bad. I’m just not feeling it any more. We are friends. I am not physically or ually attracted to him – I really never have been. He is extremly dull in the bedroom, that might have something to do with it. I have talked rationally to him about it many times and have bought aides, but they go unused. We don’t do anything, we don’t “date.” We never really have. He sits and plays his computer games, I sit and watch tv.
I am 27 and he is my first and only boyfriend. There is a part of me that feels like I have missed out on things. A part of me that wants a big change – to be single and alone, especially if I am not attracted to him. But then there is a big part of me that doesn’t want to leave. I’m scared of change – a huge change since it would require moving, as well, which I couldn’t afford and I don’t own anything of my own anyways.
But I just don’t know, do I really want to leave, or am I just looking for some kind of change? Is not being attracted to somebody and being worth losing all of the great stuff that I do have?
Any advice at all would be appreciated.
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