November 4 at 1:35 am #6572
I have been with my wife 3 years and 3 months and we have been married for 1 year and 1 month. In February of 2011 she moved to Chicago to live with her mom and grandpa as they had promised her a sweet government job (her grandfather is a guy that knows people and supposedly can make stuff happen). I was to stay behind in Colorado to look after our pets, we have a cat and a dog that her grandpa didn’t want in his house. So the plan was that she would only be gone maybe a month or two, get set up and then I would come out. That was over 8 months ago…her grandpa still hasn’t made good on the promise to get her a job.
So, we were chugging along with our long distance relationship and everything was all hearts love and terrific. We used Ventrillo everyday to talk to each other, wrote letters, and even played an online game together to close the distance. We didn’t, however, visit each other in this time. We both agreed that a visit would be awesome, but having to say “goodbye” again would just be awful, so we wanted to just wait it out because we were sure that soon she would get the job and I would be able to move out there with her. We missed each other terribly and couldn’t wait for her promised job to come up so we could reunite.
About 3 weeks ago we got into an argument. After fighting for hours she told me she didn’t know how she felt anymore, she said she couldn’t say she loved me only that she had loved me. She told me to leave her alone and that she needed time to think about things. I tried my best to give her space…but I wasn’t good at it. I made all the common mistakes. I called her, texted her, tried to make contact with her on our online game, I sent an email to her mother, I tried to talk to one of her new work friends, I told her that I was going to come out there immediately, and I basically panicked.
The day before yesterday she called me and told me that we needed to have a serious talk. She told me that she has been holding stuff back and our argument was the “straw that broke the camel’s back”. She told me that she thought about things and she believes that she is a completely different person now. She says that the change in “who she is” was so profound that she just isn’t who she used to be. She told me that she doesn’t love me.
When we first had the fight I wanted to rush out to see her right away but she told me no. A couple of days later I was panicking again because I caught wind that her mother was urging her to talk to a lawyer and I called her and told her that I would be coming out to see her immediately. She told me NO again…that I wouldn’t like what I would find and she didn’t see how it would fix anything. Finally, the other night when she called to have the serous talk, I again expressed my desire to come out to see her and talk to her about our problems. Once again she told me absolutely not to do that. She said that if I were to come out she would avoid me if she could and that her family would not allow me to see her. She went on to say that if I were to catch her and try to talk to her she would be mean and it would be awful, that coming to see her would only serve to hurt me more.
She has unfriended and blocked me from Facebook, (changed her relationship status from married to single as well) she has unfriended me from the online game we used to play together, she is trying her best to sever whatever contact we had.
I have never reached out to the interwebs for help like this but I am at a total loss. My world is crumbling around me. How do I get our relationship back on track?
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.