January 29 at 1:36 am #6648
So I dated this girl in the summer of 2010, and I got scared and we parted ways but stayed friends. After, we actually became really good friends, we talked daily about almost everything etc. In the fall of 2011 we went out a few times again and I realized I loved her. I tried to tell her but surprise…got scared….and anytime I tried, I would divert by making some stupid inappropriate joke or innuendo. . Anyway, we split up again in Nov, and still stayed good friends, but within 2 weeks, she was dating a guy and was “certain”. Ironically, he had just split from his wife in Oct and was openly making statements to her on fb “If you still care we can make still work” etc, while dating my girl. She told me about him and said how important I am to her etc. My marriage ended 3 yrs ago after she had multiple affairs, and I know I have trouble expressing love and trust. But I was ready with this girl, I thought. I know her well and am 99% sure she had similar feelings.
So in mid-Dec I wrote her a love letter telling her I was in love with her, I did not (and still have not) said anything about the new boyfriend, who coincidentally is a carbon copy of me. 2 days after I wrote the letter, she defreinded me on fb and broke off all contact. We’ve since texted a few times but avoid “the talk”. So now this guy is taking her to the same place he and his wife went last spring for family pics, spending like its going out of style, any pic of her on fb he likes or comments on, with the exception of anything her family has commented on. He also refers to her as his “gift” and comments on their love life on fb (open profile, so his wife can see it I suspect). In one pic in particular, her mother said what a beautiful daughter she has, he ignored it completely instead bragging about the trip he bought her. And every weekend she’s with him and his family, almost like he’s taking great pains to keep her away from her friends and family. Plus he has 2 young kids which she met immediately.
Since its only been 2 mos, and is an obvious rebound, how long is a good idea to wait for her? Should I say anything to her about the red flags, the manipulation etc?
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