Loveless Marriage

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    Mark13579
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    I am a 50-year-old male, married for 15 years with two adopted children, ages 11 and 9. My wife is 55. This is her fourth marriage and my first. We only knew each other for about two months before marrying. I am easy going and she is a pit bull in temperament. We argue much and don’t see eye to eye on raising our children. I did something stupid about two years ago–I had an affair. I got so tired of being nagged and fighting, that when a woman who saw the wonderful guy I was became very affirming, I gave in. My wife and I are separated in different states. I see her and the children about once a month. We are thinking of coming back together, but I fear going back into the same miserable marriage. I am afraid. Should i stay together for the sake of the kids and remain unhappy, or should I consider divorce? I know it will devastate our children, and that is all that is keeping me hanging in right now. My wife and I have tried several counseling sessions over the years, with no lasting success. I am tired of arguing and just do not find her desirable at all. Our intimacy has always been almost non-existent. To complicate matters, the woman with whom I had the affair is still in love with me and I with her. Her kids are grown and she is divorced. I have never felt so comfortable with anyone as i have with her, and wish we had met and married years ago. We have so much in common. What should I do? I feel so confused and conflicted and fear hurting my children.

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