November 20 at 8:45 pm #6564
Hey everyone. I’ll try to keep this short.
Met a woman a couple weeks ago at a party. We really hit it off. Had our first kiss in a snowstorm. Very picturesque. 🙂
Since then we text all the time, chat on Facebook, she came over once, fooled around a bit, but didn’t have sex . Last night she spent the night. For the first time we had sex. I was a wreck. I could barely keep an erection, my hands were shaking and my mind was racing. It was really embarrassing for me. She comforted me and told me it was no big deal. It happens to everyone.
I also live alone and haven’t had a partner in over a year and a half. Because of that, I do masturbate regularly; maybe once every two or three days. Not proud of it, but its almost become “natural” or “routine” for me.
Fell asleep, woke up in the morning, got a little busy, and attempted to have sex again. Went to put the condom on, and I went flat. Ashamed yet again because of this. We rested in each other’s arms for about an hour, got up, cooked breakfast, and she headed home.
Since then my mind has still been RACING. My hands are shaking. I can feel my heart beat through my chest. All I think about is her. I took the 4×4 out, did a little wheeling, went for a drive, played some video games, and still, all I do is think about is her.
What’s happening to me? I’m so freaking nervous to screw this up. She is absolutely wonderful. No kids, non smoker, very close family, going for a master’s degree, younger than me (I’m in my 20s), GORGEOUS, and comes from a similar background that I come from. I’ve tried so many things to get my mind off last night, but I just can’t seem to. Its difficult for me because its a subject I really don’t want to talk about with the parents, and I’m rather new to town and don’t really have any close friends to get into these type of details.
Is what I’m feeling normal? Is whats happening before sex normal? How can I get through this? I’ve had only a couple relationships before this over a year ago and I was NEVER like this. I’m guessing holding off on the masturbation will help, but I have no idea.
I just have a really good feeling about her and I don’t want to bombard her, overwhelm her, and have her push me away. I’d be destroyed if she decided to not see me anymore.
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