April 15 at 2:17 pm #7010
Girlfriend and I have been together 4+ yrs, we been living together for the last year and a half. Her daughter (15 yrs old) lives with us and son (17 yrs old) lives with her ex (we don’t have any kids together), about 2 weeks ago the daughter was caught with drugs and was suspended from school and later tried to kill herself and the son gets arrested within the same week, my girlfriend immediately shuts down (this is our first major relationship issue, I never knew how she dealt with stress), our few conversations has had the tone of “I blame myself for placing you before my kids, my mom did it and I promise myself I wouldn’t do it”, she says don’t touch her and don’t talk to her (seems to resent me).
I moved out (a mutual decision) since she is not willing to talk and she says she didn’t need my help (she needs some alone time, I understand). It’s been a week and her daughter is out of therapy and both are staying at her father’s house (girlfriend’s ex), we still haven’t talked about anything in length, she texts me (when I ask) that she still loves me and sees a future with us together but needs the space to fix her issues (kids and mounting bills) and every time I ask her about us, she doesn’t have time to stress about our relationship (and stop asking about our relationship) and that her main focus is her kids and to just be patient. I understand kid problems (I have a 20 yr old son).
She is very hard-headed and very proud; I told her that I will start covering more of the household expenses (previously shared) to help her out financially and to help her focus more on her kids, she rejected the idea and I needed to quit telling her that, but letting her know I already paid some of the shared bills she seem to respond on a good note.
My dilemma is that I understand she is going through a tough time right now, but I don’t understand the complete disconnect from me and I don’t see it getting any better, I have had serious thoughts of ending the relationship (because of the near total non-communication), what to do?
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