January 6 at 5:28 am #6695
Hi everyone. I’m new to this site and not really sure how to start so I figured I would just tell my story and see what happens.
After meeting my last gf 13 years ago, I knew at the first moment I saw her that I was in love. We were out camping with mutual friends for the week and over that time period we got to know each other and had an amazing connection. Being young at the time, it didn’t work out because she lived far away and was going to start college. I was still in high school. Over the years we kept in touch from time to time but never really had much of a chance to get together again until early this past summer. We met at the campground we stayed at all those years ago and relived some of our past memories there. By the end of the day the feelings that we had for each other came rushing back as if we never missed a beat. A week later we were dating. She still lives almost 2 hours away but I made time to see her every weekend, and if I had time I would go see her during the week. We spent the most amazing summer together filled with nothing but love, laughs and smiles. Neither of us has ever been happier. I know this because she told me that. We never had a single fight or argument during this time because we liked the same things and just always agreed with each other or made compromises for each other. 2 months later she started talking about getting married and having children because a child is the only thing she wanted in this life and she told me that I would make a great husband and father. She was also worried that if she didn’t have a child soon she might not be able to due to her age (32). At the time, I was changing careers and was enrolled in college and had a 2 years left to be done. But we both thought that was too long so I changed my program all around so I could be done by the start of next summer so we could be together sooner. So, in our third month together we started to try for a baby. After asking for her fathers permission to marry her we found out that she was pregnant. Happiest moment of my life. A week later I drove down to see her and ask her to marry me. She said yes. We went to see her parents to tell them that we were engaged. They didn’t know about the baby at this time because she didn’t want to say anything until she had her first doctors appointment. On my way back home the next day she called me and said that her mom didn’t want her marrying me because I am not good for her and never will be. (I am the nicest, most selfless person around) So against my advice, she went to her parents house alone and told them about the baby. They continued to tell her what a huge mistake it was and actually convinced her that she didn’t love me. The next month was filled with her going back and forth between her own feelings and those of her mothers. But in the end she was convinced that I would never be able to take care of her financially. (I switched my school program to welding to make sure that I could and get done sooner) after being engaged for only a few weeks, she broke it off and terminated the pregnancy. This was in October. Since then we talk every day and she tells me that she regrets ending everything and that I am the only person she can talk to and make her feel better. The only problem is that when I do get her to feel better about herself, she decides that she doesn’t want to see me and wants to start dating. So, being the understanding guy I am, I tell her that is ok and she needs to find out what she wants. After a couple days of less talking and a date, she is back to feeling miserable and regretting everything. So then she turns back to me and I pick up her pieces again. But then it starts all over. She feels good, ditches me, feels terrible again, and comes back. I ask her why we cant be together and she just says “nothing has changed” She wants me to be done with school and fully concentrating on work before she will even consider going back out with me. I have done everything for her since we started dating. I made breakfast and dinners, took her on vacations, bought her flowers regularly, took her to nice restaurants, everything possible to make her happy because I loved to see her smile. But still she believes that I am not going to be good for her (thanks to her overprotective mother who keeps setting her up on dates with doctors and guys she thinks would be good for her)
Sorry, this is getting long so I’ll try to end this quickly and probably write more later.
What do I do? I love this girl more than anything. I have never been more comfortable with anyone in my entire life and can’t see myself being with anyone else. Is it fair that she will only (maybe) take me back after I finish school and get the 50+grand a year job, all while she is trying to find someone better for her right now? I have flipped my life upside down to give her the life she wants as soon as I can. But if she is not willing to wait, is she worth it? I know she is a beautiful person on the inside but her mother, and the ab have her completely messed up emotionally. Its been over 3 months now since we broke up and she had the ab. She still says that no one has ever made her happier. Yet she has been out on dates with 4 guys since then, none of which worked out at all. Still, she wants to wait until school is done before she will consider seeing me. That is unless she finds someone before then. But should I be ok with that? It doesn’t seem right to go back with her just because she couldn’t find someone better. I think I deserve better than that. But damnit, I love her and she is not an easy one to let go.
Sorry this was so long. You should get a prize for making it to this point in my rant. Any thoughts or advice is greatly appreciated.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.