January 9 at 7:34 am #6557
So this will sort of be a two in one (save a thread! haha), as there are two issues I’ve been dealing with. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months now. It’s been well over a year since each of us was in our last serious relationship because both of our last relationships were pretty devastating to us when they ended. It started out as a long distance relationship where we saw each other approx. once a week, talking in between. He recently moved closer to me so we’ve begun seeing each other more, but still it only averages out to being 2 or 3 times a week.
In his last relationship he was very close to his ex and spent a lot of time with her and that partially led to their break-up, so now in our relationship he tries to distance himself as much as possible. He will only see me a few days a week, will go a day or two (sometimes three) without calling or texting and seems rather fine with it. To him, a couple shouldn’t see or be in contact with each other all the time because eventually, they will get sick of each other. I partially agree with this. To me, I have no problem giving each other space and time away, but I require a little bit more than what he’s giving me. By a little more, a simple quick text once a day saying “Hey, how’s your day?” would suffice. Is that asking too much? I’m used to (especially in the beginning of a new relationship) spending lots of time with my boyfriend so this is a foreign concept for me. I’m willing to give him the space he needs, but is it okay for me to ask him to meet me in the middle?
My second issue is I recently found out that a week or two before we got together he was talking to and went to see his ex. My immediate thought was, “Oh, I was the back up plan. Great”. I understand that this was before we go together and as far as I’m aware he hasn’t been speaking with her at all since we have gotten together, but I can’t seem to move past this. In my two past previous relationships I was cheated on and as a couple we’ve both agreed that cheating is a definite no, but this still strikes an unfortunately familiar nerve with me. Should I just try to work past this and let it go, or should I bring it up with him? I don’t want to start any unnecessary drama, but I also can’t help but wonder why he was talking with her. Thanks for any advice!
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