December 20 at 4:40 am #6461
A little history, a girl and I dated last year for a few months, although it was great, we went too fast were intimate too early and broke up. We reconnected a few months later, but as friends. And have since become extremely good (I almost say best) friends. We talk about everything and laugh uncontrollably etc. This spring I realized I love her, I decided not to tell her or pursue for a few months to make sure the feelings were real. Trust me, they are.
Finally in Sept, we went out a few times and the chemistry came right back. But I still couldn’t tell her I love her (fear). We (she) decided we should stay as friends in Early Nov. I still was scared. She met a guy in late Nov and has fallen head over heels for him. In desperation (and not quite thinking clearly) I wrote her a letter telling her I loved her and I wanted to be with her. I was very careful to leave him out of it. She immediately stopped talking to me, Did not say F-off, nothing, just did not answer my letter, that was Dec 14. I know her better than that, its not like her to stay silent unless she’s scared, or angry and confused.
Anyway, the other guy it turns out, was kicked out by his wife in early Nov, and IMO is using her for comfort and to get back at the wife. He posts on FB about how happy he is with LL (her intials) and what a great time he’s having at her place etc. He then goes and takes his ex’s fb statuses, changes them slightly and posts them on his page. And he seems to have molded himself around her likes and hobbies etc. I don’t feel its long term, but I may be wrong.
My question is, I’ve decided to leave her be for a bit, but I’m really missing our talks about nothing, joking etc. I want to send her a merry Christmas greeting this week as well as let her know I still care. Is this appropriate ?
I should clarify one thing, believe it or not I am not angry at either of them. 3 years ago I went through a divorce and started a rebound relationship within 6 mos, it ended badly, but I honestly believed I loved the girl, I just couldn’t see the full picture. So I know what’s going on in his head and how he’s feeling.
Any tips, advice, timelines, anything?
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