Need advice

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Rich 5 years, 5 months ago.

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  • #7022

    nickie2025
    Participant

    Ok, so I’ve been married to my husband for 7 years, we’ve been together for close to 13 years total. While we were in highschool, his dad got a young girl pregnant. His dad passed away last year and my husbands half brother’s mother is nothing but a pill * and the kid has been taken away. My husband’s aunt did have the boy but he just heard today that she was gonna let him to go foster care. Why I don’t know. My husband wants to take in his brother which is understandable. The thing is though that we have 2 small children of our own. They are both girls, a 4 year old and a 8 month old. I got my tubes tied after my youngest was born b/c I knew for 100% that I didn’t want anymore kids. The place we live isn’t large and it’s only a 3 bedroom. The girl’s rooms are way too small to make them share a room. It’s not that I have anything against this kid and I know it’s not his fault what’s been dealt to him. But 2 kids is all that I feel like I can take care of. I’m not the one who got out and messed up, I shouldn’t have to clean up after other’s mistakes. I really don’t know what to do. Our marriage has been a little shaky lately and I know another kid is just gonna add stress to me and our marriage. But at the same time I know if we don’t take him in, my husband is gonna be upset. He has other family members who have no small children at home, why they won’t take the kid in I have no idea. Would children services even allow us to take him without having a room for him?

    #48730

    Rich
    Participant

    Sounds like your heart is a bit closed off and you’re a cold person.

    Children don’t pick their parents, so to make them suffer the consequences is kinda cold.

    This is a no win. If you don’t take the child in then your husband will be upset (and rightfully so) and if you do, then you won’t be happy. Your marriage is going to suffer either way.

    You’re a selfish person. Do everyone a favor and don’t take the child in because you’re going to unload all of your hatred onto that child and make his/her life miserable. You will treat that kid differently because it’s “not yours”.

    The child will know the difference and hard feelings will mount over time.

    If you can’t love a child, then don’t bring him/her into your house. And it’s obvious that you cannot love this child.

    The child will be better off going somewhere where he/she will be loved and not catch your anger towards them all of the time.

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