November 18 at 9:41 am #6944
Six months ago I met a girl at my dancing school. She was an ordinary girl nothing special. After a month when I started knowing her, I saw something special in her character so I asked her out. She said ok. That night we kissed goodnight, a simple kiss on the lips. From that day on I considered her my girlfriend. At the beginning I had my doubts but after about a month I felt in love in her and I told her.
We used to go out almost every day and we had a lot of fun. Her company was great, was great, everything was great. At least that’s what I thought. What was troubling me was that she was spending too much time with her female friends. Actually she hasn’t got a single male friend. Her friends are all single and about her age. She is 25 and I am 30. She never said “I love you” but her reactions when I was saying that words where all positive. She always said how good those words made her feel.
We were in a relationship for 3 months. During those 3 months we never had a fight or argued about anything. The last week before we broke up, we went on a one week holiday trip. We were staying alone in an apartment but all her friends came too (they were staying in different places). During that week we didn’t do a single thing just the two of us. Her friends were always proposing something and she was following their orders without asking me first. When we came back I decided that I had to talk about that because I had the feeling that I was coming second place.
That day she was out with her friends all day and we finally met at 10 o’clock in the evening. I started the conversation by saying how much I love her and that I feel that I have to say some things in order to fix some issues in our relation. When I finished talking her answer was that I was right and that “she needed time”. I was totally amassed because I never saw that coming. I asked her if she was breaking up with me and she said “no, I just need some time”. But anyway her answer to me was sounding like she was breaking up with me.
Her sister and her mother (I still have contact with them) were surprised by her decision and like myself never saw that coming. I agreed with her to give her time but by that moment I wasn’t sure why I was giving her time for. Two days later she texted me to go out for lunch to explain some things to me. I knew that the previous night, she had a long conversation with her mother and sister about the way she handled her relationships.
She told me that I was moving too fast and that scared her because she wanted to take things slowly and that she needs time to find out if she feels something strong for me or not. Five days passed since then and I was an emotional wreck so I text her to meet just to talk about anything. She agreed. When we met we had a wonderful time (as always). We then had a walk in the park and we started kissing. I wasn’t feeling that well so I collapsed because of the stress. A week passed since then, we exchanged a couple of text messages and I was waiting for time to pass. I am a man who can’t wait, so I was keep texting her how much I love her and that pushed her further away. Finally we decided to meet and talk. We had again a fantastic night, but at the end of the night she said that she wanted to break up because I wasn’t giving her the time she needed. I told her I understood that I was pushing too much so we agreed to give her 2 weeks time to decide what she wants. After 2 days she texted me to meet, then after 3 days she called me to see how I was doing, 3 days later she called me to meet etc etc…
I was having hopes again that maybe it’s not over so I was trying to make a move every now and then just to test her. Unfortunately those moves made her raise her defenses. A week later we started going out again. We were having a great time but no physical contact of any kind was involved. A month later we had for the first time after she asked time for herself. She said that nothing changed; she still needed time to decide.
So we continued going out, having fun and then one day we had a few drinks more and I started kissing her. She didn’t like that so she said that is better not to go out anymore and just stick to the basics and talk at the dancing school. She said that she made her mind and that she wanted to stay alone so we broke up. We had a goodbye kiss which was great and I got the sense that actually nothing was over.
So now we are seeing each other 4 times a week at the dancing school and we agreed that there is nothing wrong talking to the phone the remaining 3 days of the week. I told her that I still have feelings for her, even though I don’t say “I love you” anymore and that I don’t want and I can’t be her best friend.
A week later she started texting me again to meet. She said that it’s ok to go out alone or with her friends and have fun. Last Saturday we went to a club and afterwards she came to my apartment at 6:30 in the morning and we slept together. I didn’t do a move again because I don’t want to start again from zero.
My heart says that it’s worth trying but my mind understands that she is not treating me right. But I decided to follow my emotions. I don’t know what to believe anymore. Is it over or not? And if it is why is she acting like this? Is it normal to wait and see how things will turn up in the future?
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