January 3 at 3:15 am #6544
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year. We were a long distance couple for 5 months after meeting. We’d Skype all the time. I moved to his city 5 months ago and moved in with him. I’m very in love with him, however a few thing he does is bothering me immensely. He broke up with his ex-girlfriend 3 years ago- but he references her a lot since I moved in. He makes fun of the things she used to do all the time. He also seems to want to act out things they did together. For example we went to a casual party and all the guests were in jeans but the insisted that he wear his tuxedo and I wear a fancy dress to make fun of how he used to go to fancy parties with her all the time and so he could make use of his tux since it just sits in his closet.
When we used to Skype he would wear a fancy robe that she bought him and he used to tell me he was so happy that he finally had someone to wear it for – because they broke up so long ago it didn’t cross my mind that he might not be over her and I used to think it was a just an eccentric quirk that i found cute.
Since I’ve moved to his city, we go at least twice a week to bars and they always have to be dive bars. I went along with this because we had a lot of fun, but now I’m beginning to think that this might have something to do with his ex because from what I heard she was a very classy girl and they always went to very classy places. I know he was devastated when they broke up and he tells me all the time that he is so happy he met me and that his life feels complete and he doesn’t know what he would do without me. He tells me he realizes now what a mistake their relationship was.
For New Years I wanted to do something romantic since we never seem to go anywhere nice and he insisted we should dress up real fancy and go to one of those bars instead and he even took a friend of his that was alone on New Years. I felt really bad about this and I told him, but I don’t think he gets the message. Also he spends a lot of time on his computer and takes a lot of freelance jobs and we never have much time for each other.
A friend back home thinks that he is using me and that when he is over his ex he is going to dump me, another friend said i’m overreacting since he makes fun of the ex and doesn’t seem sad about her. I don’t know, I’m really confused and it just seems that he is trying to re-create his former life with his ex with me.
I’d appreciate if anyone had any advice or went through something similar. Does it seem he’s not over his ex? His voice does crack up all the time when he tells me that she cheated on him.January 5 at 4:21 pm #48506
You’re not over reacting. That would make me SOO mad! What I would suggest is sitting down with him saying “why are you always talking about her? Apparently she’s always on your mind a lot” and say how it makes you feel unconfortable. Or you could just randomly start bring up your ex all the time and eventually he’ll say something and then you could be like well you do it, I didn’t think it was a big deal. Then he’ll realize how it hurts and hopefully he’ll stop it.
🙂January 25 at 5:47 pm #48507
He is NOT ready to be in a relationship with anyone yet. Can you say REBOUND? You don’t deserve this at all. He should only talk about you and focus on creating “new” memories with you.
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