January 29 at 3:37 am #6649
What a cliche’ question…but it’s honestly where I’m at in my current relationship.
Well I’ve been dating this guy for over 5 years now and we’ve been living together for 4 out of those 5 years. We’ve also filed for common law last year. Anyways my point of this is, is that I honestly am stuck as to whether I should leave or go at this point. All in all he is an amazing guy. He’s loving, he’s never cheated (nor have I) and frankly I don’t think he ever would and he has a pretty good paying job.
Sounds amazing right? Well…the issue is his job. Not because he got fired or anything like that, but it’s because of his devotion to it. Now one would think that’s a good thing, well it is in one way, but bad in another.
His job puts incredible strain on our relationship because it takes him away from home for hours (I’m talk 12-14 hour days here…) and days at a time. I literally am waking up alone and going bed alone many nights. I almost never see him when he’s working except for maybe a couple hours out of the day.
We sleep in the same bed of course, but kinda hard to talk and doing anything when your both asleep now isn’t it?
He also works for some of the biggest pricks EVER in my opinion. He thinks he can get what he wants from them but it’s the complete opposite. He gets pushed around, abused and taken advantage of constantly by these people and yet he can’t say no, and wont listen to me when I tell him their only using him! It’s so frustrating.
For example if someone gets “sick” (I use quotations because I don’t believe them half the time…) he drops EVERYTHING, including me at times, to go and take the job for that person. There have been times where I have no food to eat, and no clean laundry (we don’t have our own washer/dryer) because I can never get him home long enough to go out and get what we need. We only have one car, which he uses 90% of the time. I’m stuck taking a taxi or bus everywhere…it’s blows.
Another things too is that whenver he is sick he always goes into work anyways. Most of the time it’s just a tiny cold or something but this time he has friggin Strep Throat! Doctors orders were to stay home, rest and take his antibiotics. It’s only been 1 day since he saw the doctor and he’s already out working because his ass hole employers apparently can’t fill in for him. They made HIM apologize for calling because he called so “last minute”. Last I checked you can’t make appointments around being sick…
Not only that he forgot to take his damn antibiotics with him, which he is supposed to be taking 3 times a day to get better!
You can tell I’m frustrated…well long story short I’m tired of being put second to his job. I try to tell him to stop working for those people and he just brushes me off and tells me “this time will be different”. Talk about beaten wife syndrom.
I know it’s not really my place and I can’t really control who he works for but I think I at least have the small right to have an input since I care about him. right?
Also, though I’m still young (only 21, so is he.) I want to start making plans for my future. That, for me, involves marriage and eventually having kids. I’ve talked to him about this and he says he doesn’t want to be tied down with kids because he wants to be out working. I asked him when he’d be ready and he just says: “I dunno…”
I honestly don’t think he’ll ever change, and I think I’ll always come second to his job…that’s why I’m stuck as to wether I should leave or go. I’ve put a lot of myself into this relationship, it’s hard to leave it; but on the other hand I don’t think it’s going anywhere either…
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