November 17 at 6:23 pm #6941
I’m trying to make some sense of all this, so here are some hypotheticals.
1. I’m sure you have pictures of yourselves or you and your friends on your phones, and may even post them onto facebook using your phone. Would you ever randomly text any pictures of yourself to a friend? To a guy friend? To an ex-boyfriend you remain friends with but nothing more? To a boyfriend you are on a break with but still love?
2. If you move out of town to somewhere that you don’t know anyone, how often would you call your friends from back home? Guy friends? An ex that you remain only friends with? A boyfriend you are on a break with but still love?
3. You move out of town and are on a break with your boyfriend because he was unable to move when you did, and things got rocky in the relationship. He still loves you and plans on moving when he can to be with you. You stay in contact and tell each other “I miss you, I love you, wish you were here”. One day he shows up at your door out of the blue to visit you. If you still love him are you excited to see him or upset that it was an unannounced visit? If you don’t love him anymore and just want to be friends how do you react? If you love him but need time and space apart and he shows up like this after 6 months apart does that push you away?
4. If you have been avoiding telling him it is over because you don’t want to hurt his feelings, but finally tell him the truth, do you continue to tell him you miss and love him afterwards? Call him late at night because you can’t sleep?
5. If you have broken up with your boyfriend but want to remain friends and have been the one to continue contact, and a few weeks later he sends you a letter thanking you for all the great times you had together, the good memories, and for how happy you made him and special and important you made him feel, how do you react? Happy, sad, guilty? Does that prompt you to sever all ties with him?
The reason I ask each question with different situations is to try and make sense of when someone would or would not do these things. Shortly before she moved away things started to get rocky in our relationship because I was not able to move away with her yet. When she left she told me she loved me and didn’t want to be broken up but we just need time apart until I am able to move, and even asked me when I would be able to move for sure.
After leaving, she called me every week. Later she started texting me pictures of herself (nothing ual, but still!) and telling me that I have to visit her and she wishes I was there. I went to see her without telling her hoping to be a sweet romantic surprise, but her reaction was mixed. Even if I ever asked her how she felt, she would tell me that she loves me but we just need time apart. She never said that she doesn’t love me anymore until I was about to return home from visiting her, and even then she didn’t say anything until told her of my confusion. She would have let me return home without telling me.
Later when I asked her why she did all these things, she said that she does that with all her friends, which I find hard to believe. Once when we talked she mentioned talking to one of her best friends from where she moved away from for the first time in a few months, and I don’t believe that she would text pictures of herself to her friends, but maybe I’m wrong. She went back and forth in the same conversation saying she didn’t tell me she doesn’t love me anymore because she didn’t want to hurt me, and that everything was fine until I visited her unannounced which pushed her away. I don’t see how it can be both.
Thanks for your time and input!
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