December 5 at 11:02 pm #6892
I stumbled across this thread:
on here and I am wondering how similar it is to my current situation.
I have been with my man for 7 years. I am 29 and he is 46.
Whenever there is a problem in our relationship he completely shuts me out.
If e.g. I do something to upset him, instead of talking to me about it he locks himself away in our bedroom and gives me the silent treatment. I always give him his time alone thinking after a while he will be ready to talk, but he never does. He continues to ignore me and bites my head off if I even suggest that we need to talk about this.
Then he pretends nothing happened. I don’t bother bringing it up again because I know it is going to get me nowhere. ¾ of the time I don’t even know what it is I’ve done because he won’t talk to me, then he gets mad if I don’t apologise!
He makes me feel like everything bad in our relationship is my fault. If HE does something to upset ME and I let him know I’m hurt, rather than try and talk it through with me he tells me if I am going to be “cranky” all day then he doesn’t want to be around me. I feel like I have to be this robot that’s only ever happy and smiling and laughing.
The worst thing about this is if I say to him “you never want to talk about anything” he seems to be shocked, insulted and COMPLETELY denies it.
I have even heard “if you need to talk, go to your sister or best friend, not to him” from other men, telling me men just want to be left alone, they don’t want to “talk about it”. I NEED to be able to talk things out with my partner.
I would never suggest couple’s counseling – he thinks any sort of counseling is for “crazy people”. I’m not sure what else to do. Is this “Stonewalling”??
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