November 22 at 12:13 pm #6870
Hi guys. Last weekend I had an argument with my girlfriend. It was a silly argument, a bit heated but in terms of some arguments people have I really don’t think it was that major. She says how I talk to her during arguments is a huge problem. Normally when we argue I chase her and push through her silent treatment to talk about it. This time I gave her space. She didn’t talk to me for 2 days. Monday she texted me asking if she could come over. I Said. She arrived sat down at the table and for about 5 minutes nothing was said. She started to cry took a deep breath and said she wanted to break up.
I cannot recall what happened next. She was crying non stop but I remained calm and tried to talk about it. I asked her was she sure this was what she wanted and she said she was, but now that shes here she is not sure anymore and doesn’t know. So we talked about our relationship. She tells me she hasn’t been as happy as she thinks she should be for the last few months. She tells m she is not unhappy but thinks the relationship should be happier. She also tells me the relationship is too hard. Harder than it should be and that we fight too often about silly things.
In all honesty we do fight about little things but I dont think we fight that often. Last 2 weeks there was one fight. The one at the weekend. Personally, and I haven’t told her this yet, I think she is weighing us against her best friends new relationship. Her best friend got out of a 3 year relationship and straight into a new one and the nee guy seems to have alot more on common with her. My girlfriend is putting us, and we are in a rough patch, against that and it’s obviously making us look alot worse as they in the new and exciting stage.
Anyway we talk more and I do my best to make it as comfortable for her as possible. She complains and asks why I’m being so nice that it’s making it much harder. I tell her I will support her no matter what she does, even in dumping me if she thinks that’s best. I tell her I don’t want to break up, that we have something good and this is alla surprise to me and I’d rather work at it than throw in the towel. She again tells me it’s harder than it should be. I tell her relationships are hard and they require work and maintenance. She refuses to agree and says if it was meant to be it would be easy.
Eventually she decides a break up is not the best idea but she needs time apart. I did my best to not persuade her decisions just try reason out her reasoning for this break up. Most of the answers to my questions are “I don’t know”. It’s frustrating but she’s upset and I focus on her. Then she decides she wants a 2 week break and decide after that. Complains again about me being so nice about the whole thing.
Now the bits that have me thoroughly confused:
After some more talking she tells I’m a good boyfriend, I’m very supportive of her, I could be more affectionate, she doesnt like how I think sometimes, she loves me but it’s not enough anymore, I’m a very nice person, I make her happy most of the time, she doesn’t get butterflies when she sees me anymore, she is happy to see me but not as happy as she used to be, and the killer she thinks she loves me but is not in love with me anymore.
I question her but at this point she is tired and confused and I mostly
Just get I don’t knows. So I make her some tea and we talk a bit more while the kettle is boiling. She announces that maybe 2 weeks is too long and 1 week would be better. I say no, let’s do 2 weeks and if after 1 week you think it’s enough let me know. If not let me know we doing 2 weeks. I’ll follow her lead completely.
I leave her to drink her tea and get some things ready to bring to the bus for her. While I’m getting them she walks in and kisses me. A proper romantic kiss. Now I’m even more confused but she’s had enough and looks drained so I walk her to the bus holding hands the entire way, adding to my confusion.
After she is gone it hits me that I didn’t look after myself in that at all, I was entirely focused on her. Soon as I get home from walking to the bus it all sets in and I can’t even breath. I feel like I’m waiting for a death sentence and I have no control at all.
Did I handle it wrong? What’s the most likely outcome? Have I lost her and I’ll never know why I lost her? What have I done wrong? It’s only been a day and I’m stressed out and freaked out. She swears she hasn’t met anyone else. what the hell did all those things mean and why were they so contradictory?
Anyway, thank you for reading. Thank you more for any replies.
At least I got to write about it. I have every intention of doing exactly what I told her and follow her lead but it’s really really hard. I feel like I know nothing.
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