Weird situation with a pal, can’t think of what to do now

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  rundlerigger 5 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #7012

    dodo
    Participant

    I have a female pal(lemme call her X), who’ve helped me through two breakups. I used to call her a sister, though she’s more like a friend. Our engineering is ending in a few days, and we’ll be on our ways. She’s already being going out with one of her schoolates for some years now. She’s been flirting with me since the time we’ve been in contact with her(not directly,indirectly. Say once i told her about a specific way one of my ex’s whom i loved then used to react,she reacted the same way). Considering(and finding) her pretty open with guys, i thought she’d be a pal with whom i can behave just like i do with guys(i mean just the normal ways, no vulgarity, no physical touching, etc).

    First lemme tell something about her. She’s helpful(atleast been so to me), selfish(at occasions), successful(pretty much, ranks 1st in every competition she apperars for), golddigger(doesn’t wanna spend even a penny, wants u to do all the expenses, though i’ve never spent much on her).

    Now, a few days back, we(she,me and a friend of her) were going by a nearby park where she started taking some pictures. She once touched the palm of my hand while looking into my face. I was actually shocked at that flirt.

    The second day after that day, one of my ex’s called me up after three years, and actually scared me(was in a more of a stalking tone, like Rose in 2.5 men). I told X about it(took me 5 attempts to reach her, her phone was off most of the time). That day, after this conversation, she said that one of her cousin brothers was hitting her. This made me feel as if she was taunting me. I asked her if this was meant for me, but she said no(i know she’s diplomatic). This was the day before yesterday. Today, i called her up twice – once she didn’t pick up, and the second time, she declined it. No callback since then. And i’m sure she’s trying to imply that i’m hitting her.

    I have kinda grown a fondness for her. She was my one stop for all issues. She taught me subjects in which i was not good, and helped in turbulent relationship times. Somewhere, i hadn’t been equally helpful to her, and that does itch me somewhere.

    For a year now, our friendship hasn’t been at our best. She’s started to be a bit arrogant(thinks too highly about herself, always complains about me, which i try to counter by calling her dark, she hates being called that), and that arrogancy’s intolerable thing for me.

    If it were some other friend, i’d have immediately moved over and ignored. But she helped me in my dark times, and i just can’t ignore that. But this current behaviour can’t be ignored. I have this urge to break off all relation with her, and forget her, but the brain says no. Hardly we have one month together, after which we’ll be passing out. I find the comment she made when i called her insulting. Am actually stuck in this dilemma, what to do now. Need ur suggestions.

    #48725

    rundlerigger
    Participant

    I suggest you study up on the topic before you give her any advice yourself. Are you familiar with Steve Hassan? His books have helped friends I know deal with similar situations.

    Try “Freedom of Mind”, which is his newest. You’ll get a better understanding of the mind state your sister may be victim of, giving you a much better chance at solving it.

    There are other authors I would suggest as well…but start with Steve Hassan.

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