What does he mean by "Slow things down & take a step back"

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Jane12 4 years, 5 months ago.

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  • #7096

    DaisyBoo
    Participant

    Hi, I am in need of some advice. I have been dating this guy for nearly 2 months, they got hot and heavy really fast. He is just getting out of a LTR he was married for 16 years and just moved out of the family home 7 months ago though he says they have been basically roommates for the last 3 years and he was only there because of his kids. So in the last two months we have been spending a lot of time together and by a lot I mean I have been invited over to his place for 4 nights a week for the last 3 and before that we spent weekends together as well.

    So last night I go over to his place after work like normal and he is acting very distant. Not talking, and generally being cold. So I asked him if something was wrong he wouldn’t look me in the eye and said he was just tired. I asked if he wanted me to leave, he said not but then after more awkwardness I said I think I should go home, packed my bag and left. He said ok. So I went out to my car and then came back into the house and asked him what was going on and if he wanted to talk or if that was it. He asked me to sit down so we could talk, I did and he proceeded to tell me that he has a lot going on and that he doesn’t think he is ready for a serious relationship and that he is confused. I took it as we were broken up and I left.
    We proceeded to text after I left and he said that he was sorry and that he wasn’t ready for the emotional part, I told him I didn’t know what to say and he said Neither do I, this isn’t how I wanted things to go. So I asked how were you planning on telling me then, to which he responded to I don’t know, I didn’t want to break up I thought maybe taking a step back and slowing things down some would be best. my thoughts are that I haven’t been the one pushing to spend time with him, he has been the one inviting me over every time. Then he texted me and said “After what I’ve been through I wasn’t expecting to have some feelings for you so quickly. I don’t mean i’m falling in love yet but there are still feelings there and that’s what scares me.” I told him that I am scared to due to past relationship experience. He then asked if I think we can recover from this? I said I hope so and that I want to see where we go, his response was ok we will see how it goes one day at a time.

    So now I am completely confused about where we stand and what to do now. Any advise would be appreciated.

    Thanks, Stacey

    #48758

    Jane12
    Participant

    Usually, if a guy likes you he wouldn’t think about anything more than just being with you. Only women have hang ups. This happened probably because along the line, he realized he is not that attracted to you.

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