When is it too much?

RelationshipForums.com Forums Marriage When is it too much?

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    I try to make it as short as possible.

    We were having communication issues and always arguing about anything. We were having maybe 2 times per week, sometimes less. One day she tells me that a (male) friend has obtained a US visa but doesn’t have enough resources to come to the US, since all his family lives in his home country. She asks me if this person can come over and stay in our apt until he can get a job and move out. I agreed to it.

    He moves in and to make the story short, I find out my wife was cheating on me with this guy for almost the entire time he was living in my apt, aprox 3 mos, I don’t remember. I went crazy but only thought about my two children and how it sucked when my parents got divorced, so I forgave her and we vowed to do things right. (This was about a yr ago.)

    She then started to constantly check my email, internet history and my cell phone. I find out and tell her to stop it, she says she will, but she actually doesn’t stop. One day she found a facebook convo between me and a (female) friend where she is asking me how am I doing with the relationship. I jokingly wrote “I feel like getting revenge, but I’m too much of a fool. I can’t do it.” When I get home I find my wife crying and about two empty bottles of pills. I asked what the hell did she do, and all she kept repeating was “You want to get revenge.” I was so effing mad and deeply dissapointed, I kept thinking “why would she do this? what about her children?”. She said she was sorry and said she’d never do it again. I forgave her, but she still keeps checking everything I do.

    Today I went with my father to buy some ram memory for his pc. We couldn’t find the type he needed so he asked me if I wanted to have a drink with him, it was about 1:30pm. I called my wife and told her I was going to the bar to have a beer with my dad. She says “Why!? I’m waiting for you to go out with the kids.” I said “My dad has to pick up his wife at 3pm, we’re just gonna have a beer or 2, but get ready so we can go out.” She said nothing, so I said “bye, see you in a little bit.” and hang up. I had 2 beers with my dad and when I get home my wife is drunk, so drunk that she needed help to get out of the tub. She was crying and vomiting, and kept asking “You don’t love me?”. She’s asleep as I type this.

    Guys, I’m tired, really tired. I don’t think our marriage is working out, and I’m so stressed out that the only thought that I constantly have in my head is “Can I make it to the end of the day without fighting” It feels like a heavy load, she’s constantly emotional and I don’t even want to go to a marriage counselor, I want to end it but I’m so worried about my kids. I want out, but feel so bad about it, I feel guilty.

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